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09/23/08 |
           
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Bastard #1's Top 80 Songs Of The 80's Here it is folks, the 80 best songs of the 80's. As with every list you won't think 90% of these songs belong here. I've listened to probably close to a million songs from the 80's - so I'm sorry, but that makes me the expert. I had to set some kind of criteria or I could have chosen songs that no one has ever heard of - so the simple criteria for choosing this list is that the song had to chart somewhere - on the Hot 100, Album Rock, Modern Rock, R&B, Dance or Adult Contemporary charts in the 80's. I've listened to all 4,230 songs that charted on the Hot 100 but I'm still working on all all the other charts, so this list could change slightly in the coming months, but should remain relatively similar. Anyway, enjoy...and please feel free to make your comments on my selections. - #1.
80. Ivan Neville – "Not Just Another Girl" – 1988 #26 Someone told me the other day they thought this sounded like Huey Lewis & The News. I can understand the comparison to an extent. Smokey voice, music somewhat in the same vain…but, um…this man is clearly black. A great pop song and he gets extra points for being related to someone wearing a Milkdud. 79. Robbie Nevil – "C'est La Vie" – 1986 #2 Just a coincidence we have two Nevil(le)'s back to back – this is just a pure, fun song. Probably deserves to be higher even, but I just happen to like other songs better. It's my list. 78. Gorky Park – "Bang" – 1989 Album Rock #41 Usually songs that are sung in partial broken English and partial Russian don’t interest me, but I can't stop singing this one, so it had to make it. I don't know what I'm singing and I'm really not even sure any words are coming out of my mouth – just noises, but I give it props for that. The first rock song of the group. 77. Dan Reed Network – "Ritual" 1988 #38 A really upbeat pop song with a bit of a rock edge. Quite creative and highly underrated, Dan Reed is due some love. 76. Dwight Twilley – "Girls" – 1984 #16 Aside from singles, I was never really a Tom Petty fan until the late 80's…but he does wonders on this one. You can tell this is a Petty song before he starts singing it – but with a lot less plantation in it and more slick pop. 75. Midge Ure – "Dear God" – 1989 #95 You might be asking yourself, who the fuck is Midge Ure? I ask myself that a lot. All I know is he was once asked to be the lead singer of The Sex Pistols. This mid-tempo pop song with God in the lyrics, doesn't quite fit that image, but the song is damn fine. 74. Matthew Wilder – "Break My Stride" – 1983 #5 Matthew Wilder is a much better producer than he was an artist. But he had a good song and a really good song. That's more than most of the shit out in the 80's or today. Happy, upbeat pop – with a slight reggae feel. Our first Puff Daddy sample too. ****New Addtion**** 73. Dead or Alive – "That’s The Way (I Like It) – 1984 #28 Dance Easily the gayest song on this chart. I mean, if George Michael was gay, then Dead or Alive's Peter Burns was ginormously gay. Musically though, the guy made some catchy shit. And I have to tell you, if you are going to cover/remake a song, this is how you do it. Put on your rainbow scarf and let's go dancin'. 72. Michael McDonald – "I Keep Forgettin'" – 1982 #4 This guy is a motherfuckin' pimp. One of the greatest voices of the 70's and 80's. I hope I'm just like Michael McDonald when I'm 50. Despite the sound of a Fisher Price keyboard in this, this to me is the best he's ever sounded, Doobie or no Doobie. 71. Delbert McClinton – "Givin' It Up For Your Love" – 1980 #8 I'm sure this is considered country music, but I think it's more disco. Sounds like a putrid combo, but this super upbeat song is catchy as hell, from a guy who didn't get much love in the 80's. 70. Arcadia – "Election Day" – 1985 #6 This is Duran Duran's best song. If this had come out under the name Duran Duran, you'd still be hearing this song today. Inexplicably, two members of DD leave, one isn't Simon and they decide to call themselves Arcadia for one album. They probably should have made sure their first single didn't sound exactly like Duran Duran either. I'd take this over Rio or Hungry Like The Wolf any day. 69. The Cure – "Fascination Street" – 1989 #46 This didn't even crack the top 40? I guess goth really didn't fit in on radio much in the 80's…though you can certainly thank The Cure and Fascination Street for influencing countless number of currently shitty bands. Listen to the long album version, it's better than the shortened single. 68. The Jeff Healy Band – "Angel Eyes" – 1989 #5 I still find it funny the blind guy is singing about eyes. The first true ballad of the group, Jeff Healy is a blues guy that turned in a great pop ballad. Check him out in Roadhouse. 67. Peter Cetera – "Glory of Love" – 1986 #1 Wax on, wax off. Our first #1 hit of the group comes to us from The Karate Kid soundtrack. You'd never think Karate Kid would be mentioned in any "Top" list anywhere, right? There's a soft spot in my heart for 80's Chicago and Peter Cetera. The man knew how to write a pop song! 66. The Cult – "Fire Woman" - 1989 #46 Like two years after this, Poison's "Unskinny Bop" came out and went straight to the top, yet this masterpiece doesn't crack Top 40? That's the craziness of radio. The Cult should have been one of the biggest groups in the world. They had great songs and great albums. This song is the little glimpse of hard rock at its finest in the 80's. One of only a handful of rock groups in 1989 that didn't seem like a joke. 65. Motley Crue – "Dr. Feelgood" – 1989 #6 …and here's one of the other rock groups that weren't a joke. Dr. Feelgood is probably right behind Appetite for best hard rock album of the 80's. This song just is the Crue at their finest. 64. Midnight Oil – "Beds Are Burning" -1988 #17 I wish I knew where Kantar East or Yundamu was. I'd understand this a lot better. I love Midnight Oil which is strange because they were a political group and I can do without politics in song. However, maybe because they were singing about Australian politics I was okay with it. Either way, their catalog is worth checking out from the very beginning. 63. Dragon – "Rain" – 1984 #88 Miss Jackie told me that my Top 80 was unimaginative since there were so many popular songs in it. I think this should help get rid of that notion. Has anyone heard this song? It's a upbeat power pop tune that despite cheesy lyrics is damn catchy. Worth checking out if you can find the thing. I still don't have it in my collection. 62. Pete Townshend – "Let My Love Open The Door" - 1980 #9 I really didn't like The Who at all, but once Pete went solo, I became a fan. This is the second best song of the Pete Townshend solo career. A quick burst of energy that feels like it's over before it begins. 61. Timex Social Club – "Rumours" – 1986 #8 One hit wonders; they came out of the bad breakup of Club Nouveaux. Both groups pretty much sounded the same anyway. I love funk and this is the first of quite a few funk tracks in the list. By 1986 funk had become filled with pop though – which this is. This could however be the first really great song about leaving people alone to live their life. Followed closely by MJ's "Leave Me Alone" and Lindsey Lohan's "Rumors". I'm joking of course. 60. Robert Palmer – "Simply Irresistable" – 1988 #2 Robert Palmer was the fucking man. Start back with his 70's stuff and work your way up through Heavy Nova in 1988. All his stuff is worth listening to. Memorable for the video of course, the song in itself is excellent. I've always loved the line "She's so fine, there's no telling where the money went." 59. Devo – "Theme From Doctor Detroit" – 1983 #59 If there's any one song on this list that could be questioned the most for its inclusion, it's the Theme From Doctor Detroit. "Whip It" was not their crowning achievement folks, it's this quick little gem from the Dan Akroyd movie. Always very quirky and sometimes unlistenable, this song is pretty damn accessible for public consumption. 58. Wa Wa Nee – "Sugar Free" -1987 #35 A terrible, terrible name for a group. Just terrible. But a hell of a catchy pop song. This probably would have been a bigger hit but you know, before you decide a name for your band you should probably think about the marketability of it. 57. Squeeze – "Hourglass" - 1987 #15 I can get it out perfectly – you try it. "Takeittothebridge throwitoverboard seeifitcanswim backuptotheshore noonesinthehouse everyoneisout allthelightsareon and theblindsaredown." 56. Marvin Gaye – "Sexual Healing" - 1982 #3 I have to admit – I burned the top 80 onto disc and if it was a traditional mix disc, I'd have to remove this, as it kills the mood, but it's inclusion in the list is a must. This is one of the ultimate get your groove on songs of the 80's…unfortunately Marvin's last. 55. The Outfield – "Your Love" - 1986 #6 The first and biggest hit for another underrated group. Just a simple, catchy pop song. 54. Lipps Inc. – "Funky Town" - 1980 #1 The original Funky Town – eight glorious minutes of pure disco funk repetition. Electronics at their finest. 53. Lakeside – "Fantastic Voyage" - 1981 #55 This is the song that made Coolio a star. Thank God for that. Admittedly a pretty mediocre group that turned in one funky ass tune. 52. Sly Fox – “Let’s Go All The Way” - 1985 #7 Cracking the top 50 is quite a feat in my book – I mean the decade was pretty shitty for music, but to be in the Top 50 for a decade is pretty damn impressive. This is another group that really didn’t make much of a name for themselves beyond this really cool gem, but one song it all it takes to make a memory. (That’s a hallmark card just waiting to be written) 51. Roger – “I Want to Be Your Man” -1987 #3 It takes a special artist to have a song in the Top 80 of the 80’s and the bottom 80 of 80’s as well, but Roger’s that man. Roger made a living off the vocoder and it worked in some spots and tanked in many others. It’s works great in this ballad which is one of his very few solo works that doesn’t ramble endlessly. 50. Peter Gabriel – “In Your Eyes” - 1986 #26 The first of a few Peter Gabriel tracks on here simply because Peter Gabriel and his “So” record are totally awesome. This song is much more popular now than it ever was back in the 80s. In ’86 he was known for "Sledgehammer." In 2006 he’s known for this song instead. 49. Jermaine Stewart – “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off” - 1986 #5 *cough* gay *cough* - Okay, so it’s a little on the feminine side to like this so much, but I have eclectic tastes. We may not have to take our clothes off to have a good time, but it certainly helps. Boobies rock. 48. Ready for the World – “Oh Sheila” -1985 #1 RTFW was all about sex. “Let me love you ‘till the morning comes” goes the song…and this one was mild compared to most of their songs. Today, you’d think nothing of the implied sexual references, but back then, this shit was dirty! 47. Jon Astley – “Jane’s Getting Serious” - 1987 #77 Yes, another British Astley. I haven’t seen anything to say he’s related to the better known Astley, Rick…but he might be. They certainly have different sounds though. Jon Astley is all cool rock music. This song has a little cool edge to it and quite a hook. 46. U2 – “Angel of Harlem” – 1988 #4 I know #3 will challenge me that this is the best tune of the 80’s from U2, but it’s my list, so fuck him. 45. John Waite – “Missing You” – 1984 #1 I love John Waite’s voice. Always have. Some of his songs have been underwhelming but his voice has always been solid. Even his Bad English stuff in late 89-early 90 was decent because of him. This is on every 80’s comp. in the world and for very good reason. 44. Jon & Vangelis – “I’ll Find My Way Home” – 1982 #51 Jon is Jon Anderson of Yes and Vangelis – well, you know Chariots of Fire – the instrumental – right? Yeah, that’s him. This is a mix on paper that I just shouldn’t like, but this song is so mesmerizing. A slow, dark very catchy pop tune. 43. Living Colour – “Cult of Personality” – 1989 #13 For a long time, Living Colour was my favorite group of all time. They’ve dropped a little, but Vivid is still one of my favorite albums of all time. A black rock band. Who’d have thunk it? 42. J. Geils Band – “Love Stinks” – 1980 #38 This is the anthem of every broken-hearted person in America. J. Geils Band kicked ass. At least for the most part. 41. Level 42 – “Something About You” – 1986 #7 42 is the highest level I’ve ever reached on Dig Dug. Maybe that’s what the name means? If not, who knows? Either way – these guys went from a jazz group to a catchy pop group in the span of two albums. This was their best tune and the one the Hot Boob Girl constantly requests. 40. INXS – “What You Need” – 1986 #5 A little bit of a quirky rhythm and a horn is all I needed for this one to blow me away. Way back before the introduction of JD Fortune, this was the song that started making INXS a household name. 39. Diesel – Sausalito Summernight – 1981 #25 A little rockin’ country. The real deep “Sausalito Summernight” chorus really gets me in a bind. I love this tune. 38. Rick James – “Super Freak Pt. 1” – 1981 #16 I’m Rick James, bitch! That’s right my friends, the part you know is only Part 1. Part 2 is just like every part two of the funk/soul genre in the 80’s…an extended instrumental to essentially just get asses movin’. 37. Pete Townshend – “Face The Face” – 1985 #26 The second and final song of Pete’s in the top 80 – another piece of frantically paced pop. 36. George Michael – “I Want Your Sex pt. 1” – 1987 #2 The first single from the awesome “Faith” record - this was followed by 4 straight #1 songs. On the album Part 1 & 2 are together and part 3 follows later in the record. Remember how controversial this was back in 1987! 35. Cameo – “Word Up” – 1986 #6 The great Larry Blackmon came up with this gem. A funk masterpiece. The only reason it didn’t go higher is because they created a song on their next album that sounded exactly like it. They lose positions on the original for lack of creativity later. It’s just that way. 34. John Parr – “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)” – 1985 #1 Right now, I would love to feel St. Elmo’s Fire burning in me. Great movie, great song. I’m certainly not opposed to a little rock guitar in my pop tune. Still not the best soundtrack song of the 80’s though. 33. Howard Jones – “Everlasting Love” – 1989 #12 His last 80’s hit – a sparkling pop masterpiece but still not even close to his greatest song. A very underrated artist that had a full decade of great songs. 32. Bobby Brown – “My Prerogative” 1988 #1 Okay – certainly overplayed, but you can’t deny that this was Bobby at his peak. Before he started snorting cocaine out of Whitney’s ass crack. 31. De La Soul – “Me, Myself & I” – 1989 #34 It’s about time I got to a rap tune. But there just wasn’t much in the 80’s for rap other than joke tunes like "Funky Cold Medina" and "Parents Just Don’t Understand." Speaking of not understanding – what the fuck do any of these lyrics mean? 30. Tom Petty – “Free Fallin’” – 1989 #7 The last hit of the 80’s for Tom Petty and by far the best one. Awesome melodies in this song. 29. Peter Gabriel – “Big Time” – 1986 #8 The second tune from the “So” album to make the Top 80. This song shows what having a good video can do. This video made me listen to the song more. It was that cool. 28. Information Society – “What’s on Your Mind (Pure Energy)” – 1988 #3 These guys kicked ass, great electronic music. You could dance to it, you could rock out. Awesome combo. 27. Depeche Mode – “Personal Jesus” – 1989 #28 We’re getting to the point where I really don’t have to explain what the songs sound like because you should know these all already – but let me ask you a question instead. Why, at the end of this great song – is there just one big off-key acoustic strum of the guitar? 26. Commodores – “Lady (You Bring Me Up)” – 1981 #8 Lionel Richie was still with them at this point and he certainly ended his career with the Commodores on a high note. After all the hits in the 70’s they still could crank out great funk tunes when most other groups faded into oblivion. 25. Gap Band – “You Dropped a Bomb On Me” – 1982 #31 These guys were never given the respect they deserved for creating beats that would be used in rap samples for years to come. The great part about this song is the sound of the bomb dropping. I remember listening to this and one other 80’s song via my mom growing up. The other song is still to come. 24. Icehouse – “Electric Blue” – 1988 #7 Sparkling pop tune from a very good band that got little recognition. This song was written by John Oates, so that’s why it probably pushed these guys over the hump into recognition land. 23. John Cougar Mellencamp – “Authority Song” – 1984 #15 If I was going to pick a Mellencamp song – most people would probably think Jack & Diane would be the one. But really, that’s not even close to being as good as supercharged rocker. Hell, Jimmy Eat World even made a song about it. So you know it’s his best. 22. Boz Scaggs – “Breakdown Dead Ahead” – 1980 #15 Boz Scaggs is a pimp. A stone cold pimp. Like Robert Palmer was. Smooth voice, super catchy song. 21. Huey Lewis & The News – “Power of Love” 1985 #1 Still not even close to the best soundtrack song – coming from Back to the Future – but damn good. Fuck you if you say these guys sucked because they sound like some shitty bar band. Find Huey Lewis & The News talent in a bar and I’ll sign them to Cheesesteak Records. 20. Queen – “Another One Bites The Dust” – 1980 #1 This is the other one my mom used to play for me growing up. It’s the only thing I remember about being four years old. I love that the funky bass line is the lead. 19. Joan Armatrading – “Drop The Pilot” – 1983 #78 If you notice – this is the only song in my top 80 sung by a female, Peter Burns not counting. I think the 80’s were what made me dislike female singers. All the 80’s gave me were hits from Streisand and Anne Murray….but this is an awesome tune from a woman who created some uniquely creative tunes. Straightforward pop, but you just can’t get it out of your head once you listen to it once. 18. George Michael – “Faith” – 1987 #1 I love that this is an upbeat acoustic song. The acoustic guitar needs to be used more often to create upbeat tunes, rather than sad depressing ones. 17. The Cure – “Lullaby” – 1989 #74 This should have been the big hit off of Disintegration. “Spiderman is having me for dinner tonight!” It’s strange to hear such a fun track from Robert Smith! 16. Guns ‘N’ Roses – “Paradise City” – 1989 #5 The first of two on here from what I think is the best album of the 80s – Appetite for Destruction. Guns stands out for infusing balls to the wall rock into a world of hair metal. They were way ahead of their time. 15. Bruce Hornsby & The Range – “Mandolin Rain” – 1987 #4 This is just an absolutely great pure pop song. This might have even got top 10 on my list had Bruce Hornsby not just created the same melody over and over and over again. At least it was a damn good one. 14. Skyy – “Call Me” – 1982 #26 Almost unmatched in terms of its funkiness. Sadly it’s the only song that they ever had a hit with. 13. Scritti Polliti – “Perfect Way” – 1985 #11 Green Gartside was a pop genius. It’s a shame he was only able to put out two good albums in the 80’s. But he came back in 1999 and still put out a great pop record. I wish we had more from this man. 12. Peter Gabriel – “Sledgehammer” – 1986 #1 Someone said to me “There are so many artists in the 80’s but yet you give three of the slots to Peter Gabriel?” Well, you know – there are a lot of fucking artists in every decade. That doesn’t mean most of them aren’t shit. This guy made a masterpiece of an album and made innovative and exciting videos to go with it. When you have a list, you can deny him three songs. ****Adjusted Ranking **** 11. The Fabulous Thunderbirds – "Tuff Enuff" 1986 #10 Another very underrated song and group. The Fabulous Thunderbirds made great upbeat rock tunes. Tuff Enuff is an awesome piece of Rock 'n Roll. 10. The Time – “The Bird” – 1985 #36 Alright fellas, ya’ll ready to do this…1, 2, 3 here we go…It’s the only song in the history of music that immediately gets me up and dancin’ or at least flappin’ my wings! 9. Prince & The Revolution – “Kiss” – 1986 #1 Again – another coincidence that Prince is right ahead of protégé Morris Day…but what also is amazing is the Prince is my favorite artist and this is his only song in my top 80 list. This song was so good, even Tom Jones was able to pull it off. 8. Guns ‘N’ Roses – “Welcome To The Jungle” – 1988 #7 Two songs in the top 14 tracks of the 80s. What can I say – you’ll be hearing this song until you die. It still holds up well today. 7. El Debarge – “Who’s Johnny” – 1986 #3 Now this IS the best soundtrack song, possibly ever made. I loved Short Circuit, which made this song ever better and this is just fun, upbeat and totally smooth. I guess Bunny and the others in the family were holding him back. 6. KC – “Give It Up” – 1983 #18 Credited on the single to only KC – sans Sunshine Band. For all intents and purposes, KC should have stopped making disco at least two years earlier….but thankfully he didn’t. This is the last great disco tune! ****New Addition **** 5. D-Train – "D-Train Theme" – 1982 #45 Dance There are some unbelievable things that happened in the 80's with music and one of them is that this magnificent song was only the charting B-Side of another dance hit from James "D-Train" Williams. A blistering piece of funk music, complete with typical 80's cheese. All aboard everybody. Choo Choo!!! 4. Q-Feel – “Dancing in Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop)” 1989 #75 I have no idea why this wasn’t a hit. This is a super upbeat danceable electronic tune. Martin Page was behind this tune – which hit in 1989 despite actually being released in 1983 first. It was ahead of it’s time in 1983, but right on target for 1989. 3. Earth, Wind & Fire – “Let’s Groove” – 1981 #3 Easily the best funk tune of the 80’s and the best uptempo track as well. It all fell apart for them from here as this was their last big hit. 2. Crowded House – “Don’t Dream It’s Over” – 1987 #2 I never liked Crowded House. I don’t they were very good in album form but I’m a sucker for a good pop ballad and the Finn brothers struck gold with this one.
My favorite song ever. The ultimate ballad made by a great pop singer who had a great decade of music. This to me is the perfect song. Don’t even turn this off on me, I will have your head. This site was last updated 09/18/07 |