06/11/08

Show History

I want to say it started way back in history with Ad Rock, MCA and me, Mike D – but that’s not true. Somewhere back in the early 60’s though, our show was born. Okay, so it really had nothing to do with us back then but it was in the same timeslot, so damn it, it’s ours…

Dildo Clumpo was the first to host the coveted 9pm-12am Tuesday night slot. In the mid 80’s, right after the title was changed to “Michael Jackson Touched Me,” the show started going downhill. Soon, Dildo decided it was time to have a changing of the guard. So in the late 90’s, Mr. Clumpo confronted a fellow DJ who just so happened to be both hosting a good version of “Stuck in the 80’s” and starting up WTSR’s first local program “Local Noise" and asked him to take over the floundering show.

This DJ agreed that he could do more damage in the Tuesday night slot and recruited a fellow DJ/Music Director to help him co-host the show.

For a while it had no name. It usually takes the geniuses on this show about 3 or 4 months to come up with something new….so we tossed around some names and narrowed it down to two:

Kiss our Fat White Asses

or

Destiny’s Bastard Children

Both are accurate – but we wanted some promotion and didn’t think the first name would get much. Besides, Dave Chappelle thinks it’s funny as shit – so how could we not go with the DBC??

Newly christened Bastard #1 and Bastard #2 started hanging around another loser and about a year into the show named him Bastard #3.

In the half dozen or so years of the current incarnation of Destiny’s Bastard Children, we’ve broken numerous world records for consumption of candy bars and soft drinks and eaten more Boo Berry than anyone needs. Below is a short list of other accomplishments.

1. Created WTSR's first-ever game show, “The Blind Man’s Challenge”
2. Ripped more bands a new asshole than anyone else during the fan-favorite segment, the DBC Roast. Held “Roast Madness” in March of 2002 to determine who was the worst (Cyd Peace, you are still our “winner”)
3. Discovered “Round Brown Mounds” in a gas station convenience store, puked, and are now determined to find “Round Brown Mounds” again - the DBC-equivalent to the Holy Grail.. 
4. Generated chaos in Red Square over a lost bottle of Vodka.
5. Became world class assholes.

So here we stand now, with you, our listener(s) reading our homepage. Our fat, lazy asses are finally giving you something of substance. Hope you enjoy it. If you don’t – fuck you (fuck me. Say it together, naturally…)

Your friends, the Bastards